Saturday, July 14, 2012

Living With Hypothyroidism

As many of my friends and Family already know, I was diagnosed with Hypothyroidism approximately 15 years ago. Before I had any noticeable symptoms which I call my "per-hypothyroid" days or life, I had considerable control of my weight, my body was muscular, short and stocky(not fat but muscular) is a description that would fit. Bottom line I was shapely. If I gained 5 lbs I could reflect on what I was eating and make a few adjustments to my diet. Maybe I had too many servings of ice cream or I had eaten fast food too many times that month. I would make the adjustment and I would lose the weight with no problem.

Then, one day, I started feeling a bit tired all the time. My weight started fluctuating and I was putting on a few pounds, not much but enough to be noticeable. I did my usual routine but could not find where the problem was in my diet with what I was eating so I simply decreased my portion sizes. It didn't raise any red flags at that point and I just figured it was just that I was approaching 30 and some weight gain is normal with aging.

Around my 30th Birthday I began to really feel tired, little to no appetite, I was eating less but started gaining weight rapidly, my body began to hurt all over, I couldn't stop trembling, couldn't sleep no matter how tired I was. The more weight I gained, the more I tried to control it with diet or by eliminating caloric intake. My symptoms worsened, I got fatter and fatter. People began to say stuff about going on a diet. My boyfriend at the time was saying horrible things to me, like take the fork out of your mouth and stop pigging out so much, you are fat! He gave me a bike and said, I am not going to give you a ride anymore, (my car had broken down and wasn't working) walk or ride a bike fat ass. I simply got more and more sick. I went to the Doctor often and she said she didn't know what was wrong with me, (I was a self pay patient with no insurance coverage from my employer). She prescribed me an anti-depressant and said she thought if I got some sleep I would feel better. The medication had no effect. I did not sleep better and none of my symptoms went away.

The abusive comments from my shallow boyfriend grew worse and were right down abusive. After about six months I was down to the point where I was only eating 110 calories per day, 0 through beverages. (no soft drinks, juices or anything with calories). I was still sick and gaining weight.  Finally I got sick of seeing the doctor repeatedly and being put off being given antidepressants and physical therapy I blew a fit at the doctor and told her I was a self pay patient and I am paying cash for every visit, I could go to any doctor I want and if she doesn't figure out what is wrong with me this visit and do something that actually works, I would take my business elsewhere.  She finally ordered a TSH test (at the time was a cost of $10). Followed by a call a week or two later that I have hypothyroidism but she was going on vacation and would write me a prescription when she got back.

Two weeks later I had to bitch at her to write the prescription. Needless to say, I never went back to her again. Over the last 15 years, My weight has dropped considerably while doctors said my TSH levels were normal, I have gained weight while my doctors said my TSH levels were normal. I have been bitched at for being fat by doctors and others, I have been accused of doing drugs or anorexia when I lost weight. The truth is, since my thyroid decided to malfunction, I have had some but very little control over my weight. I have complaints about my hair falling out all over the place (like I have control of that).

For the past 7 months I have been very sick, I have been seeing a doctor and yes I have medical coverage and the coverage has switched me a few times this year from clinic to clinic. I am on the 4th clinic this year and have never seen the same doctor twice. I got as far a blood test, lowering my thyroid dose (huge decrease) by one doctor, Told I have Hashimoto's by another and suggested that there are options to explore but this clinic is not going to pursue any of them or treat me what-so-ever but I should come to my next appointment. The Dr. (?) said she will put in a referral to an endocrinologist which could take weeks or months. (yeah, like all of the times I signed releases to forward my medical record to the next new clinic I was changed to, who never got my medical records).  I have been lied to so many times in the past 7 months, put off, told to come back 4 - 5 times after nothing being done, no meds, no tests, no suggestions, after about the 5th visit, a doctor will order a test. So I have figured that the doctors want to be paid for office visits at least 5 times before ordering a test or consider doing anything that might lead to diagnosis, treatment or over all promoting good health for people with chronic conditions such as diabetes, Hypothyroidism, heart disease or any other chronic condition that could involve any kind of complications.

I have been unusually sick for the last 7 months, doctors have refused to do what is necessary for diagnosis or treatment. If they can not simply prescribe a narcotic pain pill or an antibiotic, they don't bother with diagnosis or treatment of any possible complication. Hell, the last girl I seen said I might need a medication that contains the T4 and T3 but didn't order the necessary blood test to determine if that was the case and did not change my medication or do anything. I don't even know if she was a real doctor. She didn't seem to know any more than I do and didn't seem capable of doing anything more than I am capable of doing myself such as her not ordering the T3 blood test. I am not a physician and can not order any tests, she (in my opinion) was not a real doctor because she could not order any tests.

Some who look at me may think that I am a fat ass who eats large portions and lots of cake and pie. They may think I am depressed because I feel like shit all the time because I am freaking sick and don't feel well enough to sit up straight and be all cheering and bouncy like a healthy person. Truth is, I am SICK, I am not over eating, I am not sad or depressed, I don't starve myself or have any eating disorder. I am simply sick.

If you are FAT and are wondering if you have Hypothyroidism, here are some things to consider.

1. Are normal plate's, bowls, cups, forks, and spoons just too small for you to get the portion size you need to feel full in one sitting? Are you turning to serving platters as your dinner plate or mixing bowls for your soup, ice cream, cereal? Do you need a 64 oz cup of milk with your meal?  If your answer to any of these questions are YES, then you are FAT because you simply eat to much.

2. If you have a combination of symptoms such as fatigue, loss of appetite, excessive hair loss, joint or body pain, weight gain or weight loss, slow heart rate or heart palpitations... Seek the help of a professional who should order a TSH (Thyroid Stimulating Hormone) test as well as some others to determine what the cause of your symptoms are.

In either case, seek the help and advice of a medical professional and if that professional does not discuss your health with you openly or you find yourself catching them in blatant lies, get a second opinion until you get a doctor or clinic who does what needs to be done and will communicate with you openly. eg. of a good honest doctor. You give doctor list of your symptoms, doctor gives exam, asks questions, order tests, sets appointment for follow up. On follow up doctor talks to you and explains the results of your tests. If the results show nothing and it is obvious that it is your lifestyle (such as your diet) that is the cause of your health issue, doctor should be able to clearly tell you that and give you advice or refer you to a nutritionist. If it is another medical condition than the Doctor should explain the condition, the treatment, and prescribe treatment or further tests.

I am currently in the position where I am trying to choose another clinic. When I take my valuable time to see a physician, I don't want to be told they know what could be the problem but they are not going to order the necessary tests to be sure or offer any treatment although there are clearly alternatives, they refuse to pursue them. I hate wasting my time with lazy ass professionals when I hate going to the doctor office in the first place. Like I have nothing better to do than to sit with a bunch of sick people for two hours past my appointment time to see a doctor who refuses to do anything for 5 visits before deciding to do something, anything at all. I mean really?

So not only do I have to hear all the Fatty comments, I have to feel sick for months on end because doctors are lazy and useless.  WTF?! Do I have to be a doctor so I can treat myself? Be a farmer so that I can get non-poisonous or non-enhanced foods? Do I have to be a freaken attorney to get a decent defense?

When I went to college and majored in Business, I figured I would not have to also go to medical school, Law school, take agriculture as well because there are no efficient or good professionals around out side my own profession. Hell, even the appointment setters can't freaken set an appointment and people wonder why corporations are outsourcing to other countries. All goes back to the more someone gets paid the lazier they become. A minimum wage fast food employee gives more effort in their jobs than highly paid professionals give in their career. They are so lazy that they even go as far as taking credit for an accomplishment that belongs to someone else. If they spent even the same amount of time and energy in actually doing their jobs as they do stabbing people in the back, the world would be a better place.

I hate being sick and I hate lazy and/or stupid doctors. I should not have to tell the doctor how to do a job the doctor went to college for. Even a green little intern should know more than I do. Ok, enough of my stupid rant. Moving on in my day. 

 


Saturday, June 9, 2012

Hey! Let's Go Hoggin'

Hi, if you are reading this, than you are a very unique individual. As you may have noticed, this blog is completely random just like my thoughts. Hehehe. I have been thinking about my experiences of all the places I have lived in the United States through out my life and how different people are in the different States across this nation. For this post I want to discuss my perception of my experience and what I seen on the Eastern Coast of the United States. (Delaware, New York City, Washington DC., and New Jersey area).  I am in kind of a humorous yet cynical mood at the moment and I am taking a moment to discuss a past time activity that white males do when they are bored on a Friday or Saturday night and just want to go out and get some "tail".

Jimmy, Wiley, and Bob are all sitting on their old recycled couch in their run down apartment on the best side of the Ghetto, each with a beer in his hand. Jimmy takes a swig of his beer and says to the other two, damn I am bored and this sucks drinking alone. Bob takes a swig of his beer and says, yup, we're needin' some tail. That would liven things up. Wiley, carefully listening to his friends, takes another swig of his beer and jumps up and excitedly exclaims, HEY! LET'S GO HOGGIN'! Jimmy and Bob glance at each other, then they both look at Wiley and say Damn Wiley, you got a great idea.  

All three frantically bustle about trying to comb their hair and throw on some cheap cologne as they revel in the delight of what they are about to do.

You see, on the East Coast when White men go Hoggin' they are talking about going out and picking up on the fattest and ugliest women who have such low self-esteem that only requires a wink and a smile, which is a guarantee that getting some tail is gonna be the highlighted results of the evening. I have found that the majority of the White men on the East Coast participate in this sport quite often, After all, there are plenty of Hogs on the east coast that need to be gotten. (I am sure that is how my cousin met her husbands) and the white men who don't go Hoggin', well, they just stick with family.  (I was wondering why my first cousin hit on me and wanted to rent a hotel room in Atlanta - just the two of us).  *gah, shivers*

...And people wonder why I always come back to the west coast and only date vanilla caramel colored men.

So,Moral of the story... If your buddy comes up to you and says Hey! Let's Go Hoggin'! Make sure the Ugly Fatty your hunting ain't a relative because on the East Coast you never know.

*NOTE* Hoggin' is an actual thing men do on the East Coast although I made up this scenario based on what I seen back there and the behavior of my relatives on the East Coast.  










Friday, May 25, 2012

Are Dead Beat Parents Really Dead Beats?

In the media, we often see all kinds of complaints about dead beat parents who abandon their children, leaving them impoverished and dependents of the state.  I have heard so many people say how "Dead Beat Parents" should be punished and should be jailed, or castrated or some other horrible form of torture of punishment. These opinions are based on the UNUSUAL story in the media (not the normal parent who is being punished for being absent from the home) where this guy is going around spreading his seed in every womb he possibly can. He has like 30 children, works a minimum wage job which he pays 40% of his earnings to child support. What the public does not take in to consideration is that this story made it in the headlines because it is not the "AVERAGE" dead beat parent story.

First I want to establish how I feel about Child Support and where I personally stand.  First I believe that a capable and healthy parent who is capable of working and ASSISTING the custodial parent with raising the children should pay a reasonable amount if the absent parent makes more than the custodial parent. If the absent parent purchases clothing, groceries, diapers, formula, or helps to pay the rent for the home the child/ren reside on a custodial basis, than those receipts should be considered as child support payments. I also believe that Child support should be reasonable which means it is not the same amount as a car payment or a house payment if the absent parent lives near, around, or under the poverty level. An absent parent can NOT provide for their children or help their children in any way if they can not stay healthy by having groceries and medical care, keep dependable transportation to get to/from work and to visit with the child/ren as well as provide basic needs for themselves such as shelter, with running water and electricity. (Benefits the kids too, because the absent parent has a place for the child/ren to visit).

Child support payments should be counted as an expense that is a necessity when the absent parent applies for help or services because they live under the level of poverty.

Disabled parents whose only source of income is SSDI Or SSI, should NOT have to pay for child support. If the custodial parent is capable of working and the absent parent is not, I believe the custodial parent should receive the assistance to make it possible for the custodial parent to work and provide for the children (such as child care assistance). If an absent parent can not work due to a disability or other cause, they are not dead beats, they are disabled and is likely the reason they are not the custodial parent in the first place.  

Now, I will go over the the NORMAL Story of the AVERAGE absent parent.

Absent Parent was married to Custodial Parent long enough to have a child or more. Absent Parent and Custodial Parent have a problem for whatever reason and get a divorce. The majority of the time the child or children of the these parents can only live with one parent. That parent becomes the Custodial Parent. The other parent is then named the Absent Parent. Sometimes but not always, the Absent Parent was actually the Primary Care Giver of the child or children during the marriage and did not have an income and that is how the decision of who the children would live with was made in the first place.

The Custodial Parent is awarded an insane and unreasonably high Child support payment (mostly paid to the government instead of the family whom only then get $50 out of that payment if they are lucky because they quit their job and went on welfare or just simply applied for welfare).

Now, the absent parent working their behinds off, can no longer afford a car payment, mortgage payment or even rent, so they are forced to sell the car and move in with a roommate or few to provide shelter. The absent parent eventually loses their job because they do not have dependable transportation and can not get to work on time or work over time due to the schedule of public transportation services. While they are looking for a job that they are now hindered from getting because they do not have dependable transportation (public transportation is not dependable transportation) and they were fired from their last job because they were late to often and did not have a flexible schedule. Months go by and the absent parent is struggling to survive while seeking employment. They may even get lucky and have a friend who will loan them a car to work so they can have a better chance to find a job. Problem is, their child support when into arrears and is accruing at a 10% interest on top of foster care charges (although their kids are not in foster care) and now their Driver's License is taken away from them. Now they are back to the beginning. No dependable transportation and an added huge amount of a blemish on their credit which now employers look at credit ratings of all applicants to see if they are a "risk".

Now with bad credit, no car, no license, they are lucky to have a place to live or food to eat. Now the absent parent can't help support the children at all and the absent parent is continually living off the grace and charity of others or even homeless. The absent parent is then awarded the title "Dead Beat Parent".  They are sometimes arrested for the crime of not paying the outrageously unreasonable child support order to the State. This does not help the absent parent get work which does not help relieve the welfare problem. Everyone is told that absent parents are the evil and bad ones that deserve to be punished because they lost the draw when custody was established.

The Absent Parent, was turned into the Dead Beat Parent with unreasonable child support demands. Reasonably, if the absent parent is working minimum wage or in poverty and can not provide medical insurance for themselves then it is unreasonable to order them to pay for medical coverage for a family plan that costs more than it would for a plan they can not pay for just for themselves. If the Child Support payments are close to half or even more than half the cost of the Absent Parents rent, then it is unreasonable.

There are many variables to this scenario but the average scenario goes pretty much the same way when it comes to dead beat parents.  The few that manage by never having another relationship and living with their parents and actually manage to make their payments every month find that they are still paying their child support although their children are past the age of 25 because the government does not tell anyone that the absent parent's payments are going to foster care before any of the payments go toward the actual child support. (usually equal amount as the child support which means if the child support payment is $350. than the foster care payment is $349.60) I actually talked to a guy who paid faithfully every month of every year and his youngest was 26 years old and he was asking the D.A. about why he is still being charged for child support, because his youngest was 26 and he had $0 in arrears.

The Government and the media justify this stupidity by only telling the stories of the few who are actually Dead Beat Parents and avoid telling the truth about the other 4 billion absent parents who got shafted so bad that they can no longer even get a job or pay rent or have a bank account or anything simply because they lost the draw in the issue of custody.   I recall a very nice guy, had a wife and 2 kids until they got a divorce. He had a used car that he was paying on and a trailer that he lived in. He had a decent job, then he got a child support order of over $700. a month. He had to sell the trailer and liquidate the car because he could no longer afford the payments of either. He eventually lost his job because the clunker he replaced the other used car with to cancel the car payment  broke down a lot and caused him to be late or miss work frequently. His child support went into arrears while he was seeking employment and he lost his license. At that point he had NO chance of getting another job that paid equal to his original job if at all, Now, he holds the title "Dead Beat Dad".

Now, the majority of Absent Parents fall under the classification of "Dead Beat Parent" and all the laws that were designed to punish the Absent Parent for being Absent from the home (not necessarily from the life of the kids) under the guise of  "Dead Beat Parent" in order to cover the fact that the government was just trying to find another way into the pockets of the working class American and the poor. These laws to punish the absent parent have only created a bigger problem and does not solve anything. Not only is the government not getting the child support, now, they are not getting the income tax from these once hard working and employed parents (now unemployed) because a percentage of Zero ($0) is Zero ($0). 

when you see these stories about dead beat parents on the news, ask yourself why is this guy on the news if there are billions of dead beat parents just like him?  If the media does not cover low profile murders in an area that has a high murder rate because it is common place, why would the news cover the REAL story of the AVERAGE Absent Parent when it is common place. The secret of getting the facts are to pay attention to those around you and watch and listen to the average person who is part of that label and ask questions. Go directly to the source. Conduct your own personal study before taking someone else's opinions as your own.   There are two sides of every story, hear both sides before passing judgment. 

Learn to think for yourself.



 

Saturday, May 19, 2012

What the Government Needs to do but Won't


The marijuana debate, a judge's plea and readers' thoughts

Please take a minute to read the above post then take a minute to read the post below. Please feel free to comment as long as your comments are relevant to this post and it's contents, regardless if it agrees or disagrees with what I have said, it will remain in the comments. If it does not then it will be removed. Just sayin'.



We are the brightest bulbs in the bunch. That is what makes us a threat. The fact that we back Marijuana legalization makes the right wing wackos believe we have no credibility. I do not smoke marijuana, I am not a drug user, in fact I am very selective on which drugs I will take that are prescribed by a qualified physician or their stupid little assistants. I rarely have a small drink of an alcoholic beverage and I do not smoke tobacco. I also believe that all drugs should be legalized with the same respect as prescription drugs. With warning labels and a list of possible side effects. Crimes committed because of drug addiction or alcoholism should be prosecuted as usual. Making any drug illegal is not going to stop anyone from using it and it is not going to end drug/alcohol abuse and addiction and it is not going to prevent crimes. What making it legal will do, it will free up tax payers money by ending the war on drugs and allowing the drug abusers and addicts to destroy themselves and those who survive and recover, good for them. Reallocate the war on drugs funds to Give back the benefits to the working poor, the disabled, and the elderly. Give back to the schools who teach our children and lower the politicians wages since they can't find their way out of a paper bag to do their jobs anyway. Legalize same sex marriage, after all if anyone is stupid enough to sign that freaken contract, let them.  Recognize that abuse, hate speech, bullying and assault on others is not an acceptable expression of religious rights or any other right with the exception of the "right to remain silent". Implement the Buffet Rule and tell anyone who disagrees to find another country to live in. Also, one more thing. If anyone wants to migrate to this country they can do it through legal channels and move through the red tape. We have immigration laws for a reason and one of those reasons is population control. Not important to anyone who does not understand the need to prevent over population through immigration but to those of us who understand the over population problems in Asian countries and other over populated areas such as New York City, we know how it can destroy a country and starve a nation. No, I am not a racist or a bigot nor am I against any race, religion, disability or sexual orientation, age or any other demographic. I am a supporter of the ACLU and I believe in American Freedom and Rights. I also see history repeating itself. Ever think about the disappearance of the Mayans or the collapse of the Roman civilization and other civilizations demise over recorded history? Things are changing with the Patriot Act, NDAA, and CISPA and others that are to come. I see the coming demise of the United States, and honestly, so do many others, only most do not understand what they are seeing. Legalizing pot is just a small piece. I have said my good-byes to Lady Liberty because she is currently being buried under new acts, laws, and legislation until she will no longer exist.  The worst part of it, is that I am 100% correct and I will be labeled a nut job. It is not Government conspiracy, after all, the government doesn't need to conspire and keep secret any of it because the American public doesn't even know what they are seeing the government do right out in the open in the first place. To bad, So sad.  It is all on those who choose to do nothing, those who close their eyes and ignore what is happening and those who are selecting it to happen because they are straight up greedy and moronic. It will be a world that is good for the corporate heads and hand picked Government puppets and bad for the rest of us. Enjoy what you all have chosen and know it is your fault because you let it happen. Natural selection, Nature taking it's course, evolution, and history repeats itself.  There will forever be the Oppressed and the Oppressor. The faces just change a bit.

Sunday, May 13, 2012

Childless Mother


In my arms they laid him down
He was so precious it was impossible to frown
Looking at him felt so complete
It was time for him to eat
My heart overwhelmed with love for my child
I had to gaze at him for a while
A good mother I was, or so I believed
I thought I would be since he was conceived
Just one thing; I couldn't provide
I had no funds to ensure he thrived
With me, would he survive?
He was taken from me when he was so young
my heart was shattered
I cried 'til I was numb
Everyday I screamed and cried
My broken heart I could not hide
I am pleased to see he grew up fine
He didn't need me, but he was meant to be mine
I missed him so much over the years
All I have left are my tears

Sunday, May 6, 2012

Humans, Monkeys, and Intellectual Decisions

I often refer to the American Population as being stupid and I often make reference of people as monkeys. How intelligent are people? Why does history consistently repeat and why do people make the same mistakes over and over? Where did the cliche "monkey see, monkey do" come from? I absolutely love this video of Laurie Santos speaking of her research using monkeys to answer a question about Human Beings. I am guessing that this discussion may not grab the interest of most Americans considering it requires thought. I know that the few who see this and understand what she is talking about and can follow what she is saying and then follow up by relating it to what they see around them will absolutely get this whole concept. Those who are capable of thinking on their own may even form a logical opinion of their own. This is a 20 minute video but it goes by quickly if you pay attention and understand what she is saying. I wanted to share this on my blog because in my opinion this points out the major flaws in our society and I think that this information gives an extremely important perspective on how Human Beings make decisions.




So many times I was involved in a conversation on a social media site and everyone involved in the conversation are putting in their thoughts and opinions as to what they believe and how they feel about the subject including me. I will then share a link to an article from a credible site that I thought would be a good valuable piece of information that would add value to the conversation. Every single time with out fail, the group participating in the conversation will make a comment or a judgement about the title of the link with out even opening the link and viewing/reading the contents. Usually I link short articles that should only take 5 minutes of a literate persons time to read. They make a judgement on an assumption of what the contents are about with out even looking at it first. People often make decisions or form an opinion on something with out getting all the information or even enough information to make a logical decision. I will use the recent event of Treyvon. Only a small part of the facts were disclosed to the public and because one side was screaming the loudest with a twist on a small portion of the facts, the general public made an uninformed decision and formed an opinion as if it were the absolute truth. The public were outraged by the half truths that were made public and they were outraged with out asking for all of the facts. Turns out Treyvon was not the innocent little 14 year old boy he was portrayed to be although the public made a decision on only a limited amount of information.

I received the request in my email to sign a petition that did not have all the information and was only filled with claims of a crime that was obviously void of facts. I did not sign that petition because I needed more information to make my decision, I needed to know all the facts that were available. I tend to see things from a different perspective. I don't really believe it has anything to do with I.Q. at all. I actually believe it has to do with how we think, how we choose to see the world. I believe it is our choices that are skewed.  Our choices to make a decision with out asking any questions to get the rest of the facts.  Choices to let others do the thinking for us. I believe Americans are Lazy in very many ways.

Keep in mind I do not believe I am SMARTER or BETTER than the rest. I just believe I ask more questions and am capable and willing to THINK for myself. The world would be a better place if it were filled with rational, logical, people who are willing to work their lazy minds and actually think for themselves. The way we process and make decisions goes back hundreds of thousands of generations. I hope you can listen to this very bright woman, Laurie Santos, and form an opinion of your own.


Tuesday, May 1, 2012

Just a Rant about Gansters in School

America the land of the Brain Dead. Are American Cognitive abilities shrinking?

A friend of mine has twin sons in the 6th grade. This is a small view of what a 6th grader has to deal with at school. America's education system. The Face of American Ethics and the all around American way. I may speak out against the government but these bullies/gangs are the future and are growing in numbers. Bullying being ok starts at home. A lack of values, morals and ethics. These bullying/gangster kids grow up (if they survive long enough) to be a burden on society in our prison systems. All the while, the rare and few decent kids are victims of the terrorism. Are gang member growing up to be the average American?

 Hear one mother's sorrow as she briefly tells what the kids in the 6th grade deal with.

"The school my boys go to is a 6th grade campus only. They have been telling me all yr how the gangs are really bad there. Well since its almost the end of the yr, the gang activity has increased dramatically.One of the students house was shot at the other night. They had to have an emergency assembly to talk to the students about gangs and all the fights going on. Kids are scared to go use the restroom because they get jumped in there. They hold the door closed so no one can get in there to break it up. The students are afraid to answer questions from the teacher because they get ridiculed for it by the other students. They don't get to eat lunch because it gets stolen from them. How can a school allow these things to happen? If this is going on in 6th grade, what's going to happen next yr? How can I send my kids to school knowing these things are happening? They should feel safe at school."

I grew up with this mother. We lived in the same school district when we were teens. When we were in school the district that we lived was very nice and peaceful and did not have to worry about getting jumped in the bathroom or worse killed at any moment. Today in that same district, the school I went to is now Gang ridden and a dangerous place to be. Our few smart kids can't even get an education because the dumb class of kids (majority) are too stupid to figure out that knowledge is power. A lot of people try to blame it on economic status. It has nothing to do with being poor, it has to do with intellect. I grew up extremely poor, I lived in gang infested neighborhoods (until my parents worked their way into a safer neighborhood when I was in the 11th grade).

People were shot and axed to death all the time on my block. Toxic waste was illegally dumped right behind my house. My parents worked hard to provide shelter and food. We were taught work ethics, we were taught to be kind to others, and to treat people with compassion. These are the values that have degraded over the years between my childhood and the life of today's children. This is the reason the government is so easily removing our rights and freedoms. Our youth have become low lives who have no intelligence. They have a drive to fight for something but they are too stupid to figure out what really matters. The Gangsters are our future. That is the intelligence level that we are dealing with. That is the mindset that sets the tone of our future.

It is my belief that the reason that only a few thousand or even a few hundred thousand across the nation are fighting peacefully for what matters because the rest of America are simply to stupid and it shows from what type of children they are producing. My heart goes out to the few students in this school like my friend's kids who have to deal with the dangerous intellectually challenged monkeys who do what they see or are told by the leader monkey. "monkey see, monkey do". The gangster kids become gangsters because they are not capable of thinking for themselves. Because the majority of Americans can not think for themselves, they can not teach their children what they do not know and here we are.

The next level in the history of evolution.

Sunday, April 29, 2012

Americans and their changing laws

Americans have been allowing changes to their laws with out much complaint or attention since at least 9-11-2001 when Pres. Bush began with the Patriot Act. There were a few out cries of how that takes away American Freedoms but the public brushed them off as extremists. Over the next 11 years more laws have been pushed through and more laws that take away our freedoms have become part of the American way. Unfortunately, Americans don't know about them. The NDAA was passed this year when Obama secretly and quietly signed the bill behind closed doors while in Hawaii. SOPA, PIPA, and ACTA were screamed about so CISPA quietly made it's way through the system with out much notice. It was recently pushed through the house of Reps and is on its way to Senate then it will travel to Obama who will likely sign it quietly just like he did NDAA. It has dawned on me why this can happen here in America. America was once a great country that was run and controlled for the most part by the citizens (the People). Over the years, century after century, decade after decade, Americans became more complacent and lazy and began to relinquish their power over to the government.

Now, The general American Population has no clue what is happening. They believe that their beloved freedoms that they have been taking for granted all their lives will always be there and be protected by the government who they gave their power too. Unfortunately, because the majority of Americans have stopped paying attention to what is going on around them and no longer understand the laws that provides their freedoms and offers protection of those freedoms. Because of this ignorance, the government who has kept a watchful eye on these laws and have been waiting so patiently for the American citizens to close their eyes and fall comfortably to sleep is now making its stealthy move through legislation and removing the laws that PROTECT the freedoms of Americans.

Those Americans who have appointed or Allowed to make the decision know that WITHOUT the laws that PROTECT the freedoms of Americans, the laws granting the freedoms mean nothing and are pretty much worthless. The government keeps the curtains of illusion that resemble freedom, up in the face of the Americans who are sleeping. This allows the sleeping Americans who open their eyes for a second to check if it is still there will see false scenery of implied freedoms and of course they will simply close their eyes again and fall comfortably back to sleep. Meanwhile, the government is stalking around quietly removing all of the laws that support American Freedom and Liberty so that when all of the supportive laws of protection is removed, the curtain of illusion will be removed and the sleeping Americans will awaken to find that those comfy little freedoms that were taken for granted are POOF, gone. Crumbled in a pile of ashes at their feet.

To bad, so sad. I feel sorry for my children and my grandchildren and all of my descendents to follow. Soon, the freedoms I once enjoyed and have known will no longer exist. America is falling. It is not just the economy. The economy is just symptom. Back in the day, one of the tactics of war was to cut off and separate the enemy from needed resources such as supplies of food, medicines and other necessities. Starve them out.

That is what is happening to America. We are being starved out. Soon, the economy will continue to collapse until the majority of its citizens are literally starving and desperate. We are not that far off from desperation already. We are becoming more and more dependent on our government to provide our basic needs such as food, shelter, and medical treatment. Those who didn't have much to begin with are the first to cave in and submit, surrender. The rest will follow as their resources deplete.  The government has already cut off communication and broadcasting of the Occupy Movement. (Modern day Protesting) I bet that most people are not even aware that the Occupy Movement is still happening. The American Citizens who are fighting for American rights and freedoms, Liberty, are growing weary from being cut off from support. The Mighty American Government projects that soon, the Occupy Movement will become still, and go away, silenced by government oppression.

The Government must silence and block all communication of the resistance against Fascism in America. That is another tactic of war. Cut them off from all communication so they will not be able to know what is going on outside of their one little section of the war. This block in communication is Censorship of the Internet. The monitoring of our private conversations, and messages. The Government is using yet another form of war tactic against those of us who are fighting to Keep American Freedoms Protected. This tactic is to monitor all communications of the enemy. Know where and how the enemy is going to strike by listening to their phone calls, reading their electronic communications, Private Facebook and Google+ communications are not exempt but closely monitored.

Keeping Americans distracted by trivial crap such as religion, race, sexual orientation, abortion and the separation of church and state will keep Americans busy enough so that the freedoms can be removed and all the petty issues will no longer mean anything any more. Problem solved, right?

The one thing that breaks my heart the most, is the loss of the freedoms I used to enjoy and appreciate. I am one of the few thousand who can see behind the curtain of illusion. What I see behind that illusion is a very sad, very dull, very government controlled and miserable society. And to think, Americans are Allowing it to happen. Yes they are allowing it by not saying anything, not doing anything, closing their eyes and ignoring it. Not enough Americans are trying to stop it. Not enough Americans Care about it.

It is time to say your good-bye to Lady Liberty because soon she will be buried under new laws and legislation. R.I.P. Lady Liberty

http://youtu.be/cuZjtEE5W70  CISPA Video an FYI

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Rising From the Ashes


Since the death of my mom's mother, My family has been fighting and bickering. I am glad to have this Blog to say what I need to say and get it off my mind. The last couple of weeks have been very difficult for me, my mom and other family members. While it was all happening and I was emotionally involved in it all, I felt like I was never going to recover. Today I feel differently. I have had several family members tell me that they were supportive of me and that they are aware of the whole situation.

Today, I have a different perspective on the situation. I was told once that in order for change to take place, there must be some destruction and that at times it can be quite painful. It can be very difficult to accept change because of that. The destruction is very important so that change can take place and pave the way for something better, something different. (Out with old, in with the New)

Today, I know that my life is better with the recent change in my life. I did not realize how much the past abuse and those who perpetuated the old feelings from that abuse had been affecting my life and actually keeping me from allowing myself to become successful. This week I have been able to let go of the past and those who do not allow me to move forward in my life. It is like a huge tumor has been removed from my life and I actually feel a great relief. I believe this has been another part of the healing process that I needed in my life. I actually feel happier than I have ever felt in the past and for the first time in my life I actually see that I am capable of having a great future. I actually see the opportunity that I have for a positive future.

I actually realized this week that not only am I a good person and very strong considering what has happened in my life, but that I am also very intelligent and I have realized some of my talents. I was so worried about what the wrong people thought about me that I could not see how much the important people truly like and respect me. I discovered that I was trying to impress the wrong people. The people I was trying to impress were never going to like me or respect me or ever see any of my good qualities. They have never really wanted to. This week, talking to people who are influential and possess a great deal of respect in their community and who are successful, realizing that these are the people who are important and realizing that they take me seriously and respect me is an eye opening realization for me. I actually realized this week that I am a smart and talented business woman.

For the first time in my life, I see myself from a positive perspective. This week has been an amazing week and once I let go of the negative past and all of those who kept me in it, my perspective has become much more positive. It is as if someone turned the light on in a dimly lit room filled with beauty.

Had none of that Stuff happened over the last couple of weeks, I would have never walked out of the darkness into the light. It is said that all things happen for a reason. I am glad I got to see the reason so quickly. It is said, it is darkest before the dawn. I feel as though I have risen once again from the ashes.

Mourning and Grief from a Human Perspective


I wanted to take a moment and discuss a subject that most people do not understand. I want to address mourning. Everyone mourns for different reasons and Everyone Mourns in different ways. Most people have difficulty with understanding that there is a world outside of their own heads and feelings and forget that others can be affected by the same event. Many people mourned when Michael Jackson died and there were also many who mourned when Whitney Houston died. Some people mourn when they get a divorce or any other loss. One thing I want to point out about mourning is that every normal human being mourns for one reason or another at some time in their life. It is a natural and normal part of being alive.

What is mourning?
As we see by the definition below as presented by the Free Dictionary by Farlex, mourning is an expression or feeling of grief and grief when used in this context comes from a sense of loss.
mourn  (môrn, mrn)
v. mourned, mourn·ing, mourns
v.intr.
1. To feel or express grief or sorrow. See Synonyms at grieve.
2. To show grief for a death by conventional signs, as by wearing black clothes.
3. To make a low, indistinct, mournful sound. Used especially of a dove.
v.tr.
1. To feel or express deep regret for: mourned the wasted years.
2. To grieve over (someone who has died).
3. To utter sorrowfully.

Why do People mourn?
When someone has experienced any sense of loss they often grieve and essentially need to go through a mourning period which is one of the ways humans cope with such events in life.

How do people mourn/grieve?
Everyone has a different way of dealing with grief because everyone has their own coping skills and methods in which they process information and handle traumatic experiences such as the loss associated with grief/mourning. Basically, some people can be debilitated for a period of time while someone else may appear to be virtually unaffected. These differences do not necessarily mean that one loved something more than the other or that one feels less loss. It simply means that they have different coping skills and deal with grief differently.
Everyone who has been through grief counseling has heard that there are five stages of grief. These five stages are not written in some proverbial stone with out any flexibility. These stages are not necessarily experienced in the same order and some do not go through all five stages of grief.

The Five Stages Of Grief.
Disbelief - One may not believe that the event took place and often try to come up with other explanations for the loss so that they do not have to deal with the actual loss. I recall when I was told that a friend of mine had been murdered; it took me several hours of working through those words and that concept before I could move forward from that moment in time. It was very difficult for me at that moment but eventually I moved on to another stage and was able at that time to determine what I needed to do at that point. I had to get past that stage before I could react.

Yearning - One may have a desire, wish, or longing for the event that caused the loss to be reversed. Depending on the type of loss would determine what one may wish to reverse. One may simply wish that it was a misunderstanding or incorrect data.

 Anger - Some people get very angry and lash out at everyone in their path from the person at supermarket, other family members with whom they feel are not grieving correctly all the way to the professional agent who did not stop the loss from happening.

 Depression - Quite often one may feel very sad, have no motivation to get up in the morning, do their hair or even eat a meal. Depression can last for just a few days or even years caused by a loss in someone's life. That depends on the individual and how well they cope with the loss. Depression is a sense of sadness or gloom. It is where the individual is feeling emotionally sunken and may often withdraw.

Acceptance - This is the stage where the loss has been realized. Often, acceptance is present from the beginning and as time goes by with the emotional healing taking place, acceptance becomes stronger as time and stages pass.

I have experienced my share of grief in my life considering that there have been many events that have taken place in my life that has caused quite a bit of loss. Some of these have been house fires, divorce, lost loves, and even deaths.

I personally know people who are still grieving over many things in their lives and because they are in their own part of their own method of grieving they have difficulty seeing that others are not grieving and that the world has continued to go on with out them. They are so deep in the all of the grief that they can not see that the rest of the world is not affected by their lives or their grief. We see them; we recognize they need some time to themselves. We offer them our condolences and sympathy but at the same time the rest of the world is going to move forward with out them. I know that some people may be angry at other family members because they feel the other family members somehow disrespected the dead by not grieving the same way as they feel is appropriate. When grieving a loss of any kind, it is important to keep in mind that others grieve differently and in their own stages and just because someone does not appear to be grieving does not mean that they did not grieve and just because a loss may affect you does not mean it affected others the same way. We are all human and perceive the world from different perspectives therefore being affected differently by the same event.

I hope the best for everyone who is or will ever grieve from the loss of something or someone. I hope they all find healing and can recover from their losses. From their perspective it will never end while from the perspective of the rest of the world, we know that they will eventually learn to cope with the loss and will someday have the opportunity to be happy again. The reason they will be happy again is because it is the natural process of human beings. If the individual is depressed for an unhealthy period of time, withdraws, displays signs of suicidal behavior or thoughts or does not seem to be recovering while it is affecting their life, it would be a good idea for a loved one or friend to step in and schedule an appointment with a grief counselor or other mental health professional. While loved ones are grieving it is also a good idea to watch for signs of suicidal ideations because intervention may be necessary.