Saturday, June 9, 2012

Hey! Let's Go Hoggin'

Hi, if you are reading this, than you are a very unique individual. As you may have noticed, this blog is completely random just like my thoughts. Hehehe. I have been thinking about my experiences of all the places I have lived in the United States through out my life and how different people are in the different States across this nation. For this post I want to discuss my perception of my experience and what I seen on the Eastern Coast of the United States. (Delaware, New York City, Washington DC., and New Jersey area).  I am in kind of a humorous yet cynical mood at the moment and I am taking a moment to discuss a past time activity that white males do when they are bored on a Friday or Saturday night and just want to go out and get some "tail".

Jimmy, Wiley, and Bob are all sitting on their old recycled couch in their run down apartment on the best side of the Ghetto, each with a beer in his hand. Jimmy takes a swig of his beer and says to the other two, damn I am bored and this sucks drinking alone. Bob takes a swig of his beer and says, yup, we're needin' some tail. That would liven things up. Wiley, carefully listening to his friends, takes another swig of his beer and jumps up and excitedly exclaims, HEY! LET'S GO HOGGIN'! Jimmy and Bob glance at each other, then they both look at Wiley and say Damn Wiley, you got a great idea.  

All three frantically bustle about trying to comb their hair and throw on some cheap cologne as they revel in the delight of what they are about to do.

You see, on the East Coast when White men go Hoggin' they are talking about going out and picking up on the fattest and ugliest women who have such low self-esteem that only requires a wink and a smile, which is a guarantee that getting some tail is gonna be the highlighted results of the evening. I have found that the majority of the White men on the East Coast participate in this sport quite often, After all, there are plenty of Hogs on the east coast that need to be gotten. (I am sure that is how my cousin met her husbands) and the white men who don't go Hoggin', well, they just stick with family.  (I was wondering why my first cousin hit on me and wanted to rent a hotel room in Atlanta - just the two of us).  *gah, shivers*

...And people wonder why I always come back to the west coast and only date vanilla caramel colored men.

So,Moral of the story... If your buddy comes up to you and says Hey! Let's Go Hoggin'! Make sure the Ugly Fatty your hunting ain't a relative because on the East Coast you never know.

*NOTE* Hoggin' is an actual thing men do on the East Coast although I made up this scenario based on what I seen back there and the behavior of my relatives on the East Coast.